My Daily Coronacoaster

An honest account of the highs and lows of lockdown life

I got sent a meme a few weeks ago with the caption ‘Coronacoaster – One day you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts and baking sourdough, the next your’re crying, drinking wine for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like’ and it is one of the many (!) I’ve been sent, but one of the few that has really stuck with me. Not, I hasten to add, because I have actually gone as far as to drink wine for breakfast (or in fact at any inappropriate hour!) but because the sentiment was so apt.

Lock down, for many, has been a period of reflection, self-realisation and an opportunity, away from the hustle and bustle of life, to understand emotions when all the noise is stripped away. And my major learning from this period… is that my emotions are bonkers! The scale and magnitude of the crisis that engulfed us overnight made dealing with the small things seem huge, and tackling the huge things seem insignificant. The world was tipped on it’s head leaving me not knowing if I was coming or going. I think it’s safe to say the lows felt pretty diabolical, but the highs bizarrely incredible.

I found myself switching from a reality of not seeing my family and friends, being stuck in a small city centre flat, missing hugs and cancelling travel plans with no prospects of a future away from all this… to the feeling of total elation at the success of a virtual catch up, a night spent chilling on my balcony, the sight of a field on my once daily bike ride and a hint of hope that life would resume in the not too distant future. The apparent devastation of the charity sector that again had been hit so horribly hard so quickly… and then personal delight at seeing people enter into virtual events and continue to raise funds to enable services to continue. (And then of course there were the really nutty days where my tea bag would split resulting in inconsolable tears, followed by a less than funny joke shared with a friend sparking hysterical laughter). It’s safe to say I owe a LOT to exercise, a sense of humour, food (and yes, the occasional beer or wine to get me through!).

Fast forward a couple of weeks to where we are now and the emotions are different, the scenarios more ‘normal’ but the rollercoaster remains the same! I’ve been lucky enough to have some brilliant moments sparked by catching up with fundraisers regaling the tales of the incredible things they have achieved whilst furloughed, or in trying to innovate processes to keep their charities afloat. And then the inevitable downer as I hear of another insanely talented person who has just been made redundant, or speak with another charity leader who has spent the day delivering the most devastating news of restructures and job loss.

I’ve been incredibly lucky to be working recently with the fabulous Family Fund consulting for them and supporting with virtual interviews. Not only has this afforded some hilarious moments getting our heads around the reality of virtual interviewing (blog to follow on this!), but I have to be honest in that this work has provided, for me, the largest highs since the start of lockdown. Despite the initial concerns around the challenge of making appropriate hires without the face to face interaction, we have been absolutely flying! And from an entirely selfish position, being able to call candidates and deliver the good news of a job offer in the darkest of times has been simply wonderful!

It’s fair to say, whilst managing to refrain from drinking gin for breakfast, there have been some significantly low moments… and this is likely to continue to be the case for some time. If there is one thing I have learnt from this bizarre and unique period of time, it’s that my emotions have a tendency to fluctuate like never before, but whether I’m crying over a split tea bag or prancing round the bedroom, I’m still here, I’ve made it through, and I know I’ll be able to tackle whatever twists and turns the coronacoaster has in store for us all.

Please note: I am incredibly conscious as I write this, that there are many people who have had a lot worse to contend with as a result of Covid. I wanted to share my experiences to give some comfort to those who are struggling as life resumes to ‘normal,’ no matter how small or big their burden. I do, however, want to take the opportunity to reference those who have lost loved ones or are unwell themselves. If there is one thing I have learned over the last few months it’s that people can be wonderfully supportive at times like these, and it’s always best to share a burden.